The Black Art Of Shopping

Let me ask you a question: How many dresses does a girl really need?

And the answer is…………….THE NEXT ONE!    

Beware her shopping trip for the next one. You’ve just been kidnapped Amigo! It’s slave time again!

Try hard not to be there. For you there is no escape.  She will voodoo up the black art of shopping and turn you into a shop soiled zombie:

  • the go everywhere taxi zombie
  • the carry everything donkey zombie
  • the dress makers dummy zombie
  • the hat wearing monkey zombie
  • the blinged up bankrupt zombie
  • the lingerie lackey zombie
  • the shop boy slave zombie
  • the retail refugee zombie
  • the credit card wreck zombie
  • the perfumed pimp zombie

Modern medicine cannot cure zombie. Chicken feathers, lizards and monkey brain are not yet available on the health service.

TOP TIP:  Go private. See a witch doctor.       

Shopping is her Number 1 priority Amigo.

Shopping releases a drug straight into her brain. Massive! More powerful than coke, acid, speed and weed combined.

If she was dope tested every time she bought a new dress she would be locked up for 2 years with every purchase.

That’s why there is no law against shopping. We just don’t have enough prisons, clinics and rehabs.

Half the population is permanently high. There is no known  cure. It is highly addictive and can ruin most bank accounts. (His not hers).

For him shopping is torture. He wants out . For her it’s Paradise. She wants in. He’s going nowhere Amigo.

It’s all about the look. New outfit, new look. More impact. More attention. Much more attention than that bitch Amanda. And what’s wrong with that Amigo?